she wrote it in a letter

making myself feel worse about being a lesbian.

Thu, 08 Dec 2005 15:10:26 GMT

an ode to the stupidities of unrequited love:

old 97's- buick city complex
do you wanna mess around?
do you wanna spend the night?
yeah i've known both kinds of love
but i wanna get it right this time
julieta venegas- lento
Ser delicado y esperar,
dame tiempo para darte
todo lo que tengo...
mekons- last dance
i have to post almost all of this one:
The dance floor's nearly empty now
Everyone's gone home
We're fragmented and broken up
Like love affairs
And as if seeing you for the first time
Something whispered
Looking at you in desperation
Knowing nothing ever happens
I wanted to say fall in love
I wanted to say fall in love with me
I wanted to say fall in love
It'll be alright

So beautiful, you were waltzing
Little frozen rivers all covered with snow
All fragmented and broken up
Oh weIl I guess it's time to go

But as if seeing you for the first time
Something whispered
Looking at you in desperation
Knowing nothing ever happens
I wanted to say fall in love
I wanted to say fall in love with me
I wanted to say fall in love
It'll be alright
joni mitchell- both sides now
But now it’s just another show
You leave ’em laughing when you go
And if you care, don’t let them know
Don’t give yourself away

I’ve looked at love from both sides now
From give and take, and still somehow
It’s love’s illusions I recall
I really don’t know love at all
belle & sebastian- if she wants me
If I could do just one near perfect thing I’d be happy
They’d write it on my grave, or when they scattered
my ashes
On second thought I’d rather hang around and get down with my best friend
If she wants me
elephant micah- damn, i wish i was your lover
ironic that i'm coming to a song by a lesbian via a straight boy.
Damn I wish I was your lover
I'd rock you till the daylight comes
Make sure you are smiling and warm
I am everything
Tonight I'll be your mother
I'll do such things to ease your pain
Free your mind and you won't feel ashamed
Open up gonna come inside
Gonna fill you up
Make you cry
big star- i'm in love with a girl
I didn't know I could feel this way.
Think about her all the time
always on my mind
I didn't know about love
the shins- caring is creepy
Hold your glass up, hold it in
Never betray the way you've always known it is.
One day I'll be wondering how
I got so old just wondering how
I never got cold wearing nothing in the snow.
nick drake- place to be
When I was young, younger than before
I never saw the truth hanging from the door
And now I'm older see it face to face
And now I'm older gotta get up clean the place.

And I was green, greener than the hill
Where the flowers grew and the sun shone still
Now I'm darker than the deepest sea
Just hand me down, give me a place to be.

And I was strong, strong in the sun
I thought I'd see when day is done
Now I'm weaker than the palest blue
Oh, so weak in this need for you.
moby- why does my heart feel so bad?
kings of convenience- summer on the westhill
Please oceancloud
Let there be no storm on the crossing below
Please oceancloud
Let there be no storm on the crossing below
Please oceancloud
Let there be no storm on the crossing below
Please oceancloud
Let there be no storm on the crossing below
the shins- girl inform me
girl inform me all my senses warn me
your clever eyes could easily disguise
some backwards purpose
it's enough to make me nervous.
do you harbor sighs, or spit in my eye
but your lips when we speak
are the valleys and peaks of a mountain range on fire.
so let me walk these coals till you believe
i can cut the mustard well enough
cause you know as soon as breathe we scrutinize
johnny hallyday- joue pas de rock 'n' roll pour moi
Je crois que je vais rester sourd pendant très longtemps
Avec le sourire de la vengeance sur les lèvres
Les bras croisés sur 1e cœur qui bat de tous son sang
Les yeux tournés vers l'horizon d'où sortent les rêves
Demain tu hurleras tes mensonges dans le vent
rilo kiley- wires and waves
and sometimes planes they smash up in the sky
and sometimes lonely hearts they just get lonelier
beulah- gene autry
And when the city spreads out
Just like a cut vein
Everybody drowns, sad and lonely
Well everybody drowns, sad and lonely
Well everybody drowns, sad and lonely alright
the lucksmiths- mezzanine
I could sense the static
Must have been the season
Climbed into the attic
Looking for the reason
She came up to find me
Saw me in the rafters
Just stood there behind me
Asked what I was after
cursive- art is hard
You gotta’ sink to swim
Immerse yourself in rejection
Regurgitate some sorry tale
About a boy who sells his love affairs
You gotta’ fake the pain
You better make it sting
You’re gonna’ break a leg
When you get on stage

21 songs from before I was born, in honor of my 21st birthday

Tue, 11 May 2004 13:06:30 GMT

mix title: 21 songs from before I was born, in honor of my 21st birthday
mix completed: 5/4/04
took: about 3 hours

i made this song on keely's computer while I was avoiding writing a paper. she's got a lot of classic rock, hence the theme.

1.) "buttons and bows" - dinah shore
I love dinah shore. this isn't my favorite song by her, but it is pretty awesome, and the only one on keely's computer, where I made this mix.
2.) "got to get you into my life" - the beatles
I had to have a beatles song, and I don't really hear this one often enough, I think.
3.) "bad moon rising" - creedence clearwater revival
another band that I really do love-- you can tell what I was raised on. this song is really catchy and upbeat, but has terrifying lyrics.
4.) "thick as a brick" - jethro tull
flute + classic rock = awesome. dear god, I never thought I would be saying that. but I really like this song.
5.) "people are strange" - the doors
the doors will always remind me of nicki. especially this song, perhaps.
6.) "i just called to say i love you" - stevie wonder
i'm a loser and this song actually came out in 1984, after I was born, but I'm not actually 21 yet either, so it can suck it.
7.) "ain't no sunshine when she's gone" - al green
my favorite part is when he says, "i know i know i know i know i know" eight million times.
8.) "police and thieves" - the clash
one of my favorite songs by the clash? could be.
9.) "walking after midnight" - patsy cline
omg i love patsy cline. if my dad raised me on classic rock, my mom raised me on classic country. none of this new shit-- the old stuff is wonderful, though.
10.) "jackie wilson said (i'm in heaven when you smile) - van morrison
this is one of the ultimate songs of all time. if you haven't heard it, you need to.
11.) "never going back again" - fleetwood mac
my favorite fleetwood mac song. from rumours, which is a bitchin' album.
12.) "so far away" - carol king
reminds me of billy, except if he were a zombie. or something. actually, reminds me of laura.
13.) "mrs. robinson" - simon and garfunkel
eh. i don't know about this. i think i felt obligated to put it on. though i'm already kind of tired of it.
14.) "your cheatin' heart" - hank williams sr.
another awesome old country song. reminds me of a specific person that i will not mention. yerkface.
15.) "el paso" - marty robbins
this song is a classic. at least, that's what the infomercials tell me.
16.) "bad, bad leroy brown" - jim croce
Jess and I had a discussion about how Jim Croce is a "dad band." because we stole our dads' jim croce albums.
17.) "shake senora" - harry belafonte
you can tell what generation i'm from because this song reminds me of beetlejuice.
18.) "cecilia" - simon and garfunkel
much less irritating. i have no idea why i put three s&g songs on here, except i was running low on things from keely's computer.
19.) "dust in the wind" - kansas
meh. a classic, but not one of my absolute favorites.
20.) "joy to the world" - three dog night
"hi, I go to st. x. this song ROCKS." three dog night reminds me of my mom.
21.) "bookends" - simon and garfunkel
my favorite favorite simon and garfunkel song. i always listen to it around graduations or funerals.

looking and listening for love

Sun, 21 Mar 2004 20:44:27 GMT

mix title: looking and listening for love
mix completed: 3/21/04
took: about 24 hours (1 beta)
special notes: every song on this mix, as of its completion, is available for download on the internet. links included in brackets and open in new window. epitonic links are to artist page, and other links are direct to mp3.

i haven't really listened to much of this mix yet, and a lot of it was blind, as in i still haven't heard the songs all the way through, i just downloaded, listened a little, and slapped it together. i must say, though, that i absolutely love it so far. it might be one of my favorite mixes in a while, and it's definitely one of the most mature-sounding mixes that i've made. the mood alternates between sweet, wistful, and melancholy. perfect for the end of spring break and beginning of spring. i'll write notes after i've gotten to know it better.

1.) "too much" - julie doiron [epitonic]
2.) "spanish dance troupe" - gorky's zygotic mynci [epitonic]
3.) "breakfast of champions" - rainer maria [epitonic]
4.) "if we can land a man on the moon, surely i can win your heart" - beulah [epitonic]
5.) "snow like this" - the softies [epitonic]
6.) "one of few blues" - red shirt brigade [epitonic]
7.) "gwendolyn" - raising the fawn [sonic unyon records]
8.) "he's a mighty good leader" - beck [epitonic]
9.) "imperfect" - jen wood [epitonic]
10.) "if you fall" - azure ray [epitonic]
11.) "in my new heart" - camden [epitonic]
12.) "never let you go" - wonderlick [epitonic]
13.) "my new york" - reclinerland [hush records]
14.) "made of wood" - rizzo [epitonic]
15.) "43" - the monolith [themonolith.org]
16.) "let's go down to the town oasis" - papas fritas [epitonic]
17.) "flavour of the month" - aroah [epitonic]
18.) "fieldtrip usa" - moonbabies [parasol records]
19.) "burden of freedom" - deanna varagona [epitonic]
20.) "our walk" - aroah [epitonic]
21.) "will you still love me in december?" - julie doiron [epitonic]

Sat, 20 Mar 2004 16:54:15 GMT

i just discovered an excellent instamix! stream all of julie doiron's stuff at epitonic.com. i think this link should work; if not, just go here and click on "stream this page" at the bottom. it's really beautiful music-- very soft and warm, and her voice just fits it really well. also, how could you not love someone that played with a band called "the wooden stars"?

speaking of which, does anyone else use epitonic's blackbox feature? you log in, and it remembers which songs are in your blackbox, and you can stream them all, like a mix that follows you around. i use it a lot in the computer labs here, but i don't really know how convenient it is outside of that situation.

Fri, 19 Mar 2004 07:47:52 GMT

and i think i'd really like the background as a wallpaper in my house, though maybe a lighter color. yes, mix tapes and dunkin' donuts wallpaper. sweeeet.

the official unauthorized soundtrack to short circuit 2

Fri, 19 Mar 2004 06:52:17 GMT

mix title: the official unauthorized soundtrack to short circuit 2
mix completed: 3/17/04
took: about 24 hours
assist: littlealbert

1.) "bye bye baby" - okgo
i first heard of okgo when they opened for they might be giants last april. i downloaded a bunch of stuff, including this. it has a damn-near perfect guitar part-- it starts off sounding effortless, but swirls up into some pretty heavy emotion.
2.) "time bomb" - rancid
more great guitar, and it skanks. this song has such a catchy chorus-- "black coat, white shoes, black hat, cadillac, the boy's a timebomb." thank you, rancid.
3.) "don't mug yourself" - the streets
a great goofy song. i heard it on woxy the other day. the streets are SO cute.
4.) "ocean" - sebadoh
one of the first songs I can remember hearing on the radio by myself. i like it because i heard it once and knew all of the words-- it's like a nursery rhyme about a bad relationship.
5.) "high and dry" - radiohead
this song is about as perfect as you can get-- poignant, raw-but-polished, it's like it splits your breastbone clean in half and washes over and over and over your bare chest.
6.) "the fruit that ate itself" - modest mouse
the only song i could find to follow high and dry that wouldn't just make me want to hear high and dry over again. it brings it up just enough from the poignancy of radiohead. i LOVE this song-- maybe my favorite by modest mouse. i don't think it even has a guitar part, just drums and bass, and the bass line is fantastic, it undulates up and down through the vocals. the lyrics are great too, classic modest mouse: "take a drive in the wrong-hand lane, bad breath talkin' bout fresh rain... we taught the fruit how to eat itself, it was hangin' out alone, all on the shelf... goin' around thinkin' you're tough when you can't kick ass"
7.) "i just do" - go sailor
"i dropped a penny and you picked it up/you wanna be something when you grow up." i love this song. go sailor may do cheerful poppy chick pop, but they're great at it.
8.) "people who died" - the jim carroll band
a modern rock classic. it was hard for me to put this on a mix-- it's kind of special when i hear it on the radio once or twice a year. but now that woxy's dying, i want to have it somewhere. it makes me tear up and makes hilly laugh.
9.) "pink triangle" - weezer
good quality weezer. rocks out while self-deprecating. clever, but not too clever, and fun to sing along with.
10.) "way you walk" - papas fritas
this song will get stuck in my head after i haven't heard it in weeks or months. i love love love the guy/chick vocal combo.
11.) "linger" - the cranberries
this song = the cusp of puberty. i can't listen to it without getting flooded by primitive angst hormones. again, i really wanted to have it on cd somewhere.
12.) "souvenir" - morphine
it brings me back down after the cranberries. this song is very substantial sounding- it's heavy and slow and the vocals kind of grind. the drums are fabulous-- very neat and smooth. the first lyrics of this song remind me of every morphine song, ever: "I remember meeting you, we were super low. Surrounded by the sounds of saxophones."
13.) "brontowaltz" remix of "dinosaur party" by green bean go, remix by c. mitchel
an old remix of a green bean go song that I did a few years ago. crazy and loud. very wtf.
14.) "fix up, look sharp" - dizzee rascal
the next big thing from london, or so i'm told. i want to learn all the words to this song and walk around shouting them at hippies.
15.) "mull historical society" - mull historical society
so fucking clever. naming the band after their historical society was brilliant, but this song, and the lyrics, are perfect: "We're finding new ways/To reach out to the brigades in the community/We're walking your dogs/So you cannot let us down"
16.) "the naughty villain" - elf power
this is one of those songs that, the first time i heard it, i loved it. the horn part is the catchiest pop hook i've ever heard-- it's like a herd of jaunty mechanical elephants parading down fucking main street, and I wish I could make out all of the lyrics, because they're like a secret story lurking right beneath the surface. "it took a hundred nights to see the whole sky, it took a hundred more to wake up and return to life, i was the naughty villain, he was the bad guy, i got too lost, i was the buried treasure resting deep beneath the moss"
17.) "i never promised you a rose garden" - suicide machines
the ultimate bitter "what the fuck did you want from me" song. sometimes punk covers are the best thing that could happen to song. though not always, by far.
18.) "ring of fire" - social distortion
i looooove johnny cash. i remember riding around with my mom and brother in our little banana yellow datsun hatchback listening johnny cash cassettes before i started grade school. when i heard this cover, probably around eighth grade or the beginning of high school, i instantly loved it. simple, straightfoward, like cash himself, but it rocks out more.
19.) "across the universe" - rufus wainwright
another cover! much more mellow. i love rufus. my friend josh told me to get his s/t, and i fell in love from the first words of the first track-- "i don't want to hold you, and feel so helpless." this is a pretty good cover of a beatles song, and i wanted to have it on cd, since i have an earlier copy of "poses" that doesn't include it.
20.) "tie up my hands" - starsailor
hilly's favorite starsailor song. very mournfully intense, which is what starsailor is good at, i think.
21.) "flaming red bobsled" - cub
the first girl that i had a crush on in high school loved cub. i rediscovered them later via my tmbg obsession (they toured with they might be giants, and tmbg covered "new york city" on factory showroom). i like this song-- a kind of no-nonsense girl-rock-pop. the sort that boys can never manage to properly pull off. it reminds me a little of sleater kinney, but with more straightfoward vocals.
22.) "this too shall pass" - 311
my brother's favorite band. from the omaha sessions, which i think is like a collection of their earliest recordings. definitely sounds younger, though it also definitely sounds like 311. i really like 311- they have a superdistinctive sound that i find really refreshing, and they also have a really positive attitude that i think it lacking in a lot of modern rock. not that i don't like un-positive music (hey, I love the smiths as much as the next modern rock fan), but like I said, it's refreshing.

the end. i really like this mix. it's all stuff from johnny's computer/cd collection. mad props to hilly, who was instrumental in ordering it.

"the taste of love is sweet..."

Fri, 19 Mar 2004 05:23:23 GMT

i'm setting up this livejournal to document mixes that i have made/am making. comments/discussions are welcome. share other mixes you've made with these songs. criticize the mixes i write about. share your own mixes. rock out.